Posted on | July 14, 2011 | No Comments
Why do some women love anal sex while others hate it? Anal sex feels good and is a different type of pleasure, making some women crave for it all the time. However, for other women anal sex can be painful, especially if not performed gently and her anus isn’t lubed up. Since the anus doesn’t produce its own lubricant, always use good quality lube (silicon-based lube works well because it lasts longer while water-based lubes dry up quickly. Do not ever use Vaseline!) before having anal sex or it will be an unpleasant experience for both of you, especially for her.
Also start anal sex off slowly as her anus needs to be warmed up. Try loosening up her anus first by placing lube on your finger and gliding it in and out of her anus. First start with one finger, and then two and maybe three if you think you are well endowed. Don’t forget to kiss her passionately in the meanwhile and make her feel sexy! Eventually, when you and her both feel comfortable, try slowly checking to see if she is ready to be penetrated.
Another reason why some women hate anal sex is what could happen afterwards, but first we’ll talk about the pain and pleasure of anal sex. For first timers, it will be a painful experience if a man doesn’t approach anal sex gently. And if that happens, then she will be done with it forever. However, if approached gently with care and lube, after some practice and trials of different angles, women can feel great pleasure from anal sex. I was lucky that the first time I had anal sex, my man was very gentle and made sure I felt comfortable and good. He also used good lube and fingered me first for a couple of minutes to make sure my anus was loosened up. Though it was both our first times having anal sex, it was very pleasurable.
Personally for me, anal sex pleasure is different, but a good different. It’s deep inside you and since it’s close to the vagina, you get the pleasures from both the wall of the vagina/anus and the gliding in your anus. You can also get the same wall of the vagina/anus pleasure from vagina penetration, but instead of the gliding in anus pleasure, it’s gliding in vagina pleasure. Personally, I don’t know what I prefer. They are pretty similar, but having variety is nice.
Now the other reason some women hate anal sex is because of the potential mess afterwards. Before having anal sex, make sure she’s okay with it and she has already used the restroom to empty her bowels earlier in the day. The idea of her causing a mess is very embarrassing and could psych a woman out, making anal sex painful for her. If you force it on her, she will never want to do it again!
To sum it up, here is some advice to make anal sex more enjoyable (from the perspective of a male viewer):
1) The guy NEEDS to be patient and gentle (especially so the first few times).
2) Warmup is VERY important. Work your way into it gradually.
3) Lube is extremely necessary, but having too much makes it very difficult to get started and can be frustrating. Not enough hurts, too much is miserable. Use silicon based lube if at all possible.
4) Do not be worried about a mess. If the guy is interested in Anal he needs to be prepared and 100% okay with this possibility. Just make sure you’ve gone to the bathroom in the past few hours to play it safe.
5) The more you do it the better you get at it. The woman being relaxed, comfortable and horny makes a HUGE difference.
6) If anything ever hurts you need to tell your partner and he needs to stop immediately. Sometimes you just need to try from a different angle and then it feels good. After the first 3-5 times it isn’t a big deal and gets better.
Personally I enjoy anal sex a lot, but I chose to stop having anal sex for a different reason than other women claim (the pain and/or potential mess). I don’t think I’m the only one alone in this reason, but nobody has ever discussed it before with me so I’m guessing most women are either too embarrassed to talk about it or they are luckier than I am and don’t suffer from the same problem. The reason I chose to stop having anal sex though it’s very pleasurable is because after anal sex, I have constipation for a couple of days and I absolutely HATE that feeling. I don’t know why I get constipation from anal sex, but I definitely do not feel sexy after that! So unfortunately, anal sex isn’t for me, but it may be for you (if you’re a girl) or your women (if you’re a guy). :)
Update: It seems not everybody suffers from constipation after anal sex. One of my viewers commented, “Interesting, I always had the opposite reaction from anal sex – a loosening of the bowels.” Lucky them! And others like them! Another viewer commented that it only makes them gassy. It really seems to vary for everybody.